That's intense
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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