Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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