And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
home. puking in laundry basket.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Where are you guys?
Drunk
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
