Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
