i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
