Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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