so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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