Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
