God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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