Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
