Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
