i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
