Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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