"it" just moved
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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