I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Randomize
