please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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