ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
