It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
