Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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