tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
did you just send me my own nude
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
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