that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
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