his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
