the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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