What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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