Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
50% drunk capacity currently
I can't put those talents on a resume
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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