Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
