I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
