used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Randomize
