This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
