That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Who died my cat blue again?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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