these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize