I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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