The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
