Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
