Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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