I faked an abortion last night.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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