he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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