We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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