I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
