i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
