Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
