Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
