i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Are we still banned from the library?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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