Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
