I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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