Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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