Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
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