Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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