Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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