Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
