I accidentally burped into my bong.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
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